Miss Manners: I like my daughter’s cooking however I can’t eat sugar

I like my daughter and admire her abilities, however I can’t eat sugar. I’ve come to affiliate consuming meals with loving somebody, and it doesn’t appear sufficient to admire my daughter’s presentation of meals with out additionally consuming it.

Or is it? How would Miss Manners deal with this delicate social state of affairs between mom and daughter?

Does your daughter affiliate meals with love? If that’s the case, Miss Manners would suppose she can be motivated to search out methods to please her beloved mom by producing dishes that don’t endanger her well being.

Your saying that it is a delicate matter sounds suspiciously as you probably have not tried saying, “I like your cooking, however as I can’t have sugar, I’ll simply attempt the opposite dishes. Until you’re feeling that utilizing a sugar substitute wouldn’t spoil the dish.”

Expensive Miss Manners: On a few events, I’ve acquired as a present an merchandise (a particular e-book and a bit of clothes) that I already owned. So whereas the present was appreciated and an excellent choice as to my preferences, it’s an merchandise I don’t want/can’t use.

What ought to one do in such an occasion? It feels somewhat dishonest to not point out that I already possess the merchandise (particularly if requested), however then the giver might really feel disenchanted. Ought to I simply thank the giver and praise their choice with out mentioning the duplication? I’ve dealt with it each methods, however am unsure which is greatest or if there may be another.

Why would you need to inform a beneficiant individual that this generosity was a failure?

Miss Manners can guarantee you that withholding info isn’t dishonest, presuming that you’re not testifying beneath oath. Neither is gushing — “My favourite creator!” or “That is simply my fashion!” as an example, adopted by “Thanks a lot, that’s so sort” — as an alternative of answering a direct query.

Expensive Miss Manners: What’s the Correct Etiquette for being blackmailed at work?

I’ve been working for a health-care company for a 12 months. Nevertheless, name representatives for my office persistently ask me to take shifts with a variety of sufferers. Any recommendation on what to say to show them down?

What do you imply by “blackmail”? Are these folks threatening to inform your boss that you simply served time as a horse thief? Have they got the love letters you wrote in junior highschool?

If not, and these requests are usually not a part of your job, Miss Manners suggests, “I’m so sorry, however I’m not out there to do that.”

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on washingtonpost.com/recommendation. You possibly can ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, missmanners.com. You may as well observe her @RealMissManners.